Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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