I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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