real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
