I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
