at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
