You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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