shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
