I think I am morally bankrupt
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
