Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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