I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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