okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
