I love black thongs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
