gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
