found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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