Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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