i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
