I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
