they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
