come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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