never play flip cup with pint glasses
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
