Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
