I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
