careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
