Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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