Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I intend to get homeless drunk
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
