if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
the liver wants what the liver wants
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
