shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
