i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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