then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
