What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
