Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize