What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
