so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We left the knife in your bed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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