Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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