mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
