Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
