I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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