Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
