I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
