i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
