If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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