I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
kristin has been a bad kristin
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
