i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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