So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
