so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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