you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
