Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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