So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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