I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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