He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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