Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
